现在我们可以回答这样一个问题了：如果让我的英国豪华敞篷车去参加埃尔多拉的B-Main比赛，那么它听起来会是什么样的声音？
And now we have the answer to the question: What would my British luxury convertible sound like if it were entered in the B-main at Eldora?
没开过？太可惜了。先拿些宣传资料将就一下：我们测试的F-Type型号拥有5.0升增压式V8发动机（495马力、625牛•米扭矩），以前方中置的方式安装在全铝单体结构底盘上，连接着带半自动换挡拨片的一流八速自动变速箱。这台变速箱既可像糖浆般顺滑，又可牢固得像牵狗绳一样紧致，具体怎样还是得看油门和挡位。F-Type的扭矩矢量分配/防滑后差速器也是一样，将使你能够随心所欲地腾起烟雾。你也可以关闭牵引力控制系统，但我没那么做，你也不应该关闭。开这款车你可以为别人抢银行放烟幕弹打掩护。
Not sitting in one right now? Poor thing. Here are some factoids to tide you over: Our test car was the F-Type with a 5.0-liter supercharged V8 (495 hp and 460 pound-feet of torque) mounted front-midships in the all-aluminum monocoque chassis and buttoned to an absolutely stellar eight-speed automatic gearbox with paddle shifters, a transmission that could vary in demeanor from syrupy smooth to taut as a strained leash, again depending on throttle delta and where the switches are set. The same is true of F-Type's torque-vectoring/limited-slip rear differential, which will allow you to dial up the tire smoke at will. You can also turn traction control off, but I didn't, and you shouldn't. You could smoke-screen a bank robbery with this car.
F-Type是捷豹的新品，从某些方面来说，也是它的一项新业务。近期捷豹造出了一些非常快的大车，如XJ、XK、XF，但有没有像保时捷911一样中规中矩的紧凑型四门/敞篷跑车呢？从美国流行小儿麻痹症的日子以来就没有过。差不多也就到捷豹XK150吧，也就是1961年左右。有意思的是，F-Type长度为176英寸（4.47米），比XK150差了一英寸（2.54厘米），但要宽1英尺（0.30米）以上。
The F-Type is a new product for Jaguar, and in some respects, a new business. Jag has lately made some very fast big cars─XJ, XK, XF─but a proper compact sports coupe/convertible, a la 911? Not since the days of polio. Let's stop the clock at the Jaguar XK150, circa 1961. Interestingly, the F-Type is 176 inches long, within an inch of the XK150, but more than a foot wider.
F-Type是一个尤物。车身前三分之一的设计严重受制于一些因素：比如V8发动机尺寸、行人安全要求造成的发动机顶盖高度、通风与制冷要求、捷豹格栅设计风格（即单一大弧度线条的视觉形象“down-the-road graphic”）等。坦白地说，F-Type纯粹为欲望而设计，或像是世界上最愤怒的口袋妖怪(Pokemon)。
The F-Type is a beaut, all right. The design of the front third of the car was heavily constrained by factors such as the size of the V-8 engine; hood height driven by pedestrian safety requirements; ventilation and cooling requirements; and accommodating Jaguar's grille design, the down-the-road graphic. Straight on, the F-Type looks like pure appetite, or the world's angriest Pokémon.
该车最大的特色是其侧翼。请注意后轮拱罩前面车门下部的吸入式轮廓，也请注意给人错觉的黑色踏脚板（门下的踏板）。踏脚板控制溅水，控制车底气流，同时又不牺牲腰部的美感。请注意后挡泥板和行李箱盖的严丝合缝。以及怒目而视的尾灯，镀铬的四根排气管。主教，您好！
It's the flanks that make this car. Note the sucked-in contour at the lower door ahead of the rear wheel arch; note also the eye-fooling black rocker panels (the panels under the doors) that helps control spray and manage underbody aero without compromising that athletic waist. Note the edged-blade fineness of the rear fenders and decklid. The glowering taillamps, the chrome quad tailpipes. Hello, Bishop.
驾驶室就是各种正确选择的组合：内饰沉稳、充满现代气息， LED照明的仪表盘，优雅有质感的用料，比如气候控制面板上用突点橡胶与铝材制成的蒙皮、以及启动键、换挡拨片和动态换挡器上貌似青铜的“Ignis”金属等。皮革运动座椅跟XKR-S的一致，都非常棒。F-Type标志性的夸张之处在它的电动通风口，直接从仪表板上部的圆润斜坡升出，不拘一格。
The cabin is a parade of right choices: The interior is sober and coolly modern, with LED-illuminated instrumentation and grace notes of materiality, such as the nubbed-rubber-and-aluminum toggles for the climate control or the bronze-like 'Ignis' metal on the start button, the shifter paddles and the dynamics switch. The leather sports seats, the same as in the XKR-S, are terrific. The F-Type's signature bit of drama is its powered climate vent that rises from the smooth slope of the upper dash. Too cool for school.
F-Type V8 S跑车的一些官方数据：3,671磅（1,665千克，比同档次的保时捷911 S Cabriolet重约136千克）；0到60英里（约100公里）时速4.2秒；最高时速186英里（约300公里）。三个指标与保时捷几乎一致。长、宽、高与保时捷相比也相差不大。
Some official numbers for the F-Type V8 S Roadster: 3,671 pounds (about 300 pounds more than the comparable Porsche 911 S Cabriolet); 0-60 mph in 4.2 seconds; 186 mph top speed. Those last three metrics are practically identical to those of the Porsche. Length, width, height are within fractions of the Porsche's.
斯图加特(Stuttgart)，开开门，有人给你送糖果。
Stuttgart, knock knock. Candygram.
到这个时候，我想请普通读者站到一边，让技术派来听我讲它的操控感。感觉是怎样的呢？嗯，和之前说的一样，这还得看动态挡位设在哪儿。变速杆控制台里面有一个巨大的加速挡，你也可以在5英寸（约合13厘米）触摸屏界面上一项项地输入方向控制、悬挂和传动参数，不过干吗要这么干呢？
At this point I'd ask the general reader to stand aside and let the nerds have the floor while I answer the question, How's it handle? Well, again, depending on where the dynamics switches are set. There's the one big go-fast switch in the gearshift console, or you can use the 5-inch touch-screen interface to dial in steering, suspension and powertrain parameters individually, though why?
从理论上讲，作为一款发动机前置的汽车，由于质量的分布和更低的极惯性矩，F-Type在拐弯时应该比发动机后置的保时捷911慢。也就是说，发动机后置的车应该更敏捷、更活泼。
Theoretically, being a front-engine car, the F-Type should be slower to rotate in a corner than the rear-engine 911, due to F-Type's distribution of mass and lower polar moment. Translation: The rear-engined car should be more nimble, more lively.
如果看一下两款车在赛道上的遥测数据，我想这话或许是对的，但其影响极其细微。现代悬挂动力学与轮胎设计，几乎已将发动机前置或后置布局所造成的劣势给完全中和了。
I suppose if we were to look at the telemetry for both cars around a racetrack, that might prove true, but the effect would be minimal. Modern suspension kinematics and tire design almost entirely neutralize the penalties of either front- or rear-engine layout.
不管怎样，F-Type感觉可以跟保时捷911并驾齐驱。前端凌厉，悬架在最初的弯折之后立即恢复稳定，整车呈蓄势待发状。在中速拐弯时，在油门保持稳定并启动转向装置的情况下，依靠20英寸（约50厘米）的Cyclone车轮和运动型车胎，F-Type只管劈波斩浪，蔚为壮观。
In any event, the F-Type feels like it can match the 911 step for step. The front-end bites hard, the suspension composes itself instantly after initial turn-in, and the car puts a shoulder down. Midcorner, with the throttle held steady and the steering cranked, on the 20-inch Cyclone wheels and sport tires, the F-Type just rips and spits incandescently.
总之，捷豹打造了一款跑车，既满足了我们最纯粹的审美、同时又操纵着男性原始思维里最深层的部分。我觉得自己被利用了。
So Jag has built a car that satisfies our most refined aesthetic senses while manipulating the lowest regions of the lizard-y male mind. I feel so used.
不过我倒觉得无所谓。
And yet, I'm somehow OK with that.