Ten etiquettes that people no longer follow (3)

2015-07-15 「 5234 words / 10 minute 」
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3.迎婴派对
3.One Baby Shower Per Mom
每次都是蛋糕、婴儿的小衣服,对迎婴派对真是累觉不爱。相比过去,虽然养育一个孩子的成本要高出很多,许多准爸妈们还是希望用这派对好好庆祝。在过去,参加派对的都是准爸妈们的同事密友好闺蜜,如果是亲属张罗派对就有点悖理,明摆着请人来给自家送礼嘛。
Mimosas, cake and teeny-tiny outfits – what's not to love about baby showers? With having and raising kids becoming more expensive than ever, most parents-to-be appreciate the spoils a shower has to offer. In the past, the party could only be thrown by someone unrelated to the expectant couple, because a shower given by a family member would imply that the couple was pandering for gifts.
早先参加迎婴派对并无明文规定要求朋友们带礼物。但现在情况有所不同,没人会空着手参加派对,因此活动开始变得正式起来,为表诚意,准爸妈们办派对前要发出请柬,买好潘趣酒。
In the early days of baby showers it might not have been obvious or mandatory to bring a present for the wee one, but let's be real here: Today, no one would dare show up empty-handed to a shower, so does it really matter who purchases the punch and sends out the invitations?
另一个趋势就是现在人们对二胎,三胎等的孩子的迎婴派对越来越冷淡,甚至心有抱怨了。我完全理解他们为什么有此感觉,参加派对很占时间,送出的礼物往往也价格不菲,所以除非你是钱多多,否则给同一个妈妈送三次甚至四次礼物,这还真是给人无底洞的恐惧。但是换句话说,作为爸妈,我的第三个小儿子出生时同第一胎一样那么让人激动。我曾在哪里读过这样一句话:每个生命都值得庆祝。
Another emerging trend that some people find irksome is multiple showers for subsequent babies. I completely understand where these people are coming from. Showers are time-consuming and gifts are pricey, so unless you have limitless funds it can seem like overkill to gift the same mother three or four times. On the other hand, my third boy is no less special than my first, and I once read somewhere that every baby deserves to be celebrated.
改善这一问题的一种办法就是让又怀孕的准妈妈们把派对办得简单低调些,跳过发请柬环节,做一个方旦糖蛋糕,办一个五十人左右规模的密友派对。不管怎样,这些与你关系紧密的人日后很可能会成为孩子成长发展的重要角色。
One way to strike a balance for subsequent pregnancies is to opt for a more low-key shindig. Skip the custom invitations, fondant cake and 50-person guest list for an intimate lunch with your nearest and dearest because they're probably going to be the ones involved in your child's life, anyway!
2.出席朋友的重要时刻
2.Personal Contact on Special Occasions
深爱的亲朋好友在我生日那天打来电话或是亲自登门对我说“生日快乐”,我会高兴到睡不着,然而假如同样是他们,在我生日的时候只是发送了一条包含深情的短信,不管其内容多么讨人喜欢,我感受到的也只是失落。通过电子设备传达的喜悦完全不能与亲自交流联系相媲美。
When someone I love calls or visits to say "Happy Birthday" I get a completely different vibe than when the same person sends a text bearing the sentiment. No matter how many cutesy emoticons you include, it's simply impossible to convey the same joy over electronics that personal contact achieves so easily.
我们身处的这个时代里,短信和各种大众媒体已经几乎代替了传统的生日贺卡及亲自出席好友生命中一些特别的时刻。虽然这种方式可以让我们在同一时间与更多的人保持联系,但有人指出这种联系实际上是肤浅的,也是不礼貌的。“现在的人大多选择慵懒的方式来庆祝生日、节日和其他的特殊时刻了,”德西蕾(Desiree J)说,“无法接触大众媒体才能逼迫我们正常地与他人交流,而不是诉诸于各种网站上的留言。”
Today, texting and social media have all but replaced birthday cards and other types of personal contact on special occasions. Although some might maintain that these avenues allow us to keep in touch with more people at once, others point out that such interactions are superficial in nature and rude to fall back on. "Too many people take the lazy route on birthdays, holidays and other special occasions," says Desiree J. "Not being on social media forces me to really connect with people on a regular basis, rather than resorting to some canned wall post."
随着时代的改变,礼仪专家认为我们需要将当今的科技成果融入生日及其他特殊时刻的礼仪中。那些平时只通过QQ、微信、微博等联系的朋友可以通过留言来表达自己的问候,而亲朋好友必须至少要有短信或是电话的问候才较为妥当。那些特别亲密的亲戚朋友更是应当尽量当面表达自己的祝福,实在没办法出席的情况下则要用电话、视频或其他互动方式来送上祝福。
Etiquette experts are rolling with the times to fold tech advancements in with birthday and special occasion etiquette. Acquaintances or old friends you primarily connect with via Facebook can get by with merely a wall post, but folks you text regularly warrant a minimum of a text or phone call. The extra-special people in your life, like siblings, significant others and close family should be acknowledged in person whenever possible, or by phone, Skype or other personal avenue .
1.不要独自庆祝
1.Not Celebrating Yourself
每当我们希望某件事情能够被处理妥当的时候,通常需要亲力亲为。现在亲自举办自己的生日派对、乔迁喜宴以及订婚仪式等的宴会都十分常见了。有些人或许是觉得自己做东设计和策划活动很好玩,不过,大多数的情况通常是没有其他人来帮忙做这些事。
Sometimes, if you want something done right (or even done at all), you have to do it yourself. It's becoming extremely common for people to throw their own birthday, housewarming, engagement and other parties, sometimes because they just enjoy playing the host, but often because no one else offers to do it for them!
虽然在过去,独自筹备庆典是有些失礼的,然而现在请礼仪专家来帮忙做出自己个性的宴会已经逐渐成为趋势。举例来说,以前举办生日派对,受邀请的客人需要提供食物或是为自己的食物买单,另外还要送上生日礼物,虽然说你已经筹划了整个聚会,可这些对客人来说仍然是一种负担。相比之下,在临近生日或者生日这天,自己举办一场规模齐全的派对,便巧妙地把朋友们从这种负担中解放出来了。没有必要因为没有人为自己举办派对而闷闷不乐,你完全有能力独自承办聚会,所以自己默默地举杯庆祝打破了这一传统吧!
Although considered fairly tacky in the past, some etiquette experts can handle the trend of self-celebration, as long as it's done with style. For example, inviting guests to a birthday party where they have to provide or pay for food, drinks and the implied gift is placing the burden squarely on their shoulders, despite the fact that you planned the soiree. By contrast, hosting a party with all the trimmings on a date that just happens to be on or near your birthday relieves the attendees from responsibility. There's no sense in moping around, wishing for a fete you're physically and financially capable of throwing yourself, so do it up right and toast yourself quietly for bucking a pretty benign tradition!