星座运势--2016年6月7号这周
Your Horoscopes - Week Of June 7, 2016
白羊座 3.21-4.19
Aries | March 21 to April 19
让你的同事再次尊敬的对待你也许要好多年，但这将会是值得的，因为你穿熊猫西服度过了一段时间。
It may be years before your coworkers treat you with respect again, but it will have been worth it for the brief time spent in the panda suit.
金牛座 4.20-5.20
Taurus | April 20 to May 20
你将会使用升级改善过的制图法，会更容易使用，但是处理器的速度仍然是个问题。
You will be upgraded with improved graphics and greater ease of use, but processor speed remains a problem.
双子座 5.21-6.20
Gemini | May 21 to June 20
不受你控制的强大力量将继续形成从电视机散发出来的图片和声音。
Awesome forces beyond your control will continue to cause pictures and sounds to emanate from your TV.
巨蟹座 6.21-7.22
Cancer | June 21 to July 22
正如《时尚》杂志的八月刊上所载，现在生活中每一方面表现的前卫比以往任何时候都更容易。然而，这一保证只是为了迷惑你。
As the August issue of Vogue says, being fashion-forward in every aspect of your life is easier than ever. However, this assurance merely serves to confuse you.
狮子座 7.23-8.22
Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22
很奇怪的是，当你终于在与氧气上瘾这一终身战斗中获胜时，却没有人来恭喜你。
Strangely, no one will congratulate you when you finally win your lifelong battle with oxygen addiction.
处女座 8.23-9.22
Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22
本周确确实实是个幸运周，因为没有人比你的脑震荡结果要好。
This will be a lucky week indeed, since no one enjoys a good concussion more than you.
天秤座 9.23-10.22
Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22
当你上周吹嘘到"现在没有什么能阻止我了"时，显然忘记了梅毒。
When you boasted last week that "nothing can stop me now," you apparently forgot about syphilis.
蝎子座 10.23-11.21
Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21
几个联邦机构的调查员们将会得出结论：89分的橡胶圈的失败导致了你在佛罗里达州的爆炸。
Investigators from several federal agencies will conclude that the failure of an 89-cent O-ring caused you to explode over Florida.
射手座 11.22-12.21
Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21
你对越南战争的痴迷，再加上你对浪漫小说和吸血鬼神话的喜爱，将会让你写出史上最差的科幻小说。
Your fascination with the Vietnam War, combined with your love of romance novels and vampire myths, cause you to produce the worst work of fiction ever.
摩羯座 12.22-1.19
Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19
别担心：刚开始人们不会意识到它是假肢的，但是随着时间的推移，他们是会发现的，但那时候他们已经付完钱走人了。
Don't worry: Men won't realize it's a prosthesis at first, and by the time they do, they'll have paid and gone.
宝瓶座 1.20-2.18
Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18
你已经等别人电话等了3年，现在你开始怀疑你的电话也许对别人根本不重要。
You've been on hold for three years now and are beginning to suspect that your call isn't important to them after all.
双鱼座 2.19-3.20
Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20
重新开始生活永远不晚，但是你要赶快，就好像还剩下几分钟一样加快。
It's never too late to start your life over, but hurry, as you only have minutes left.