If you can answer yes to the following questions, then you may have found ‘that person’

2018-01-24 「 2613 words / 5 minute 」
If you can answer yes to the following questions, then you may have found ‘that person’.jpg
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如果你曾认真考虑对另一半说"我愿意",那么你肯定能体会那种既兴奋又害怕的感觉。毕竟,你又怎能知道另一半就是你的真命天子呢?
If you've ever found yourself seriously contemplating saying "I do" to your partner, you know that the thought can be exciting and terrifying all at the same time. After all, how do you know if that one person is really, well, the one?
不幸的是,没有任何逻辑方程可以帮你拨开爱情和浪漫的阴霾,让你看清你们是否真的天生一对。但情感专家认为有些迹象可以帮你了解你们的性格是否合适,你们之间的化学反应是否能长期存在。
Unfortunately, no logical equation exists that can help you cut through the haze of love and romance so you clearly see if you two are a perfect pair. But relationship experts agree that there are certain signs to look for to help figure out if you have the right mix of personality and chemistry to make it for the long haul.
考虑到这一点,我们请情感治疗师梅根·弗莱明博士分享了一些关键问题,问问你自己对这段感情有没有信心。如果你真的能对每一个问题都回答是,那么你可能真的可以回答我愿意。
With this in mind, we asked relationship therapist Megan Fleming, PhD, to share the crucial questions to ask yourself about the confidence of your bond. If you can (honestly!) answer yes to each one, you just might want to put a ring on it.
我们对承诺的态度是否一致?
Do we both feel the same way about commitment?
"如果你希望你俩能长长久久的在一起,那对于婚姻和忠诚的看法一致则非常重要,"弗莱明说道。"我们生活在一个谈事一夫一妻制的时代,"她解释道,但每个人对这个词的定义却不尽相同,因为如果你的另一半和你对婚姻或一夫一妻制的看法不一致,那么你与他/她相爱一生一世是不太可能的。
"If you're thinking about a long-term future together, it's important to be on the same page about marriage and fidelity," says Fleming. "We live in an age where people negotiate things like monogamy," she explains, and not everyone accepts the same definition of the word. Be sure you have a shared understanding of what commitment means, because it's unlikely you can successfully maintain a lifelong relationship with someone who doesn't share your views on marriage or monogamy.
我们是否支持彼此单独成长,也支持彼此共同成长?
Do we support each other's growth individually and as a couple?
天生一对的情侣会共同成长,而且那个人也会鼓励你追求自己的个人成长。弗莱明表示,情侣不仅应该共同成长--比如,一起尝试新的活动--而且还应该单独成长。
The right spouse will want you two to grow as a unit, and that person will also encourage you to pursue your own personal growth as well. According to Fleming, partners should not only thrive together-say, by trying new activities-but also as separate individuals.
"你有没有时间和空间来追求自己的职业抱负、兴趣和爱好?你的另一半支持你吗?"弗莱明问道。如果是,那你的另一半可能是那种一直鼓励你、让你变得更优秀的人。当然,确保自己也留给另一半同样的时间和空间,让他/她也能追求自己的目标、独立成长。
"Do you have the time and space to pursue your career ambitions, hobbies, and interests? Does your partner support them?" asks Fleming. If yes, you're probably with someone who will encourage you to keep striving to be the best version of yourself. And of course, make sure you give your SO the same leeway to reach goals and develop as an individual too.